Mental Illnesses or mental health concerns can be difficult to navigate. The stigma and lack of awareness can leave us feeling vulnerable even if we are not going through it but just observing from the side. Your support for the people you care for can become a lifesaving gesture that can help them through their journey of healing and wellness.
The recent episode of Koffee with Karan where celebrities Karan Johar and Deepika Padukone talk about their mental health struggles, has surely opened up the dialogue around discussing serious concerns such as panic attacks, anxiety and depression.
But what went overlooked was the struggle a caregiver (in the episode, Ranveer Singh, husband of Deepika Padukone) also deals with while observing their partner going through all the ups and downs of having a mental illness.
Thus, here are 5 Tips that can be helpful for you (as a caregiver) to support your loved ones mental health journey:
1. Ask about HOW to Support: It is normal to feel clueless as you observe someone struggle to maintain their mental health and when you do it is human nature just to ask “What happened?”, “Why are you sad?”, “Why do you feel lost?” etc.
Though it’s quite automatic, it is challenging for the person going through something like depression or anxiety, to explain why they feel this way.
Thus, a better way to work through this is to ask “Is there anything you need from me?”, “do you want me to be here with you?”, “what can I do to help?”.
If by any chance your partner says “No, I don’t need your help”, that’s okay too. Don’t be offended, sometimes silence is more healing than you can imagine. Therefore, ask how they can be supported and provide that action with utmost empathy and compassion.
If you feel confused, or helpless, that’s okay too, talk to someone about this. It is always okay to create an ecosystem of support systems by involving family or friends (but only if the person going through the illness is okay to share that with this small number of people). Beyond this, you should surely consider some professional intervention to understand the same, as explained further.
2. Encourage your partner for professional help: If you notice the signs that your partner’s mental health is deteriorating, support them in making appointments with their psychologist/Therapist, you can also drive them to their appointments (especially valid for clients with depression).
If your partner doesn’t have a proper therapist, you can surely do the work of finding one in your area, booking and scheduling the appointment, and then you may accompany them, if need be.
By taking the assistance of the psychologist, you can also get psycho-educated regarding the signs and symptoms to look for in the future along with the coping skills that your partner may need particular situation.
3. Connect on Daily Routines: For anyone who is struggling with maintaining mental health, daily routines become an extremely important part of their treatment.
This may include sleeping routines, day-to-day activities, work, nutrition, etc. One easy way to create support is through partnering on healthy habits and activities that are enjoyed by your partner.
It could be as small as going for a run together or working on an art project.
If your partner has a professional or a psychologist helping them with their routines then you can consult them on how to create further and impactful support as well, especially as part of their treatment plan.
Do note that you don’t have to join in every activity, but choose one or two only. You may also just join in these activities for 3-4 days a week so that you also have enough time for some self-care as well.
4. Be patient: There are no quick fixes, and it can take a few weeks or months to see any considerable and functional changes. Thus, it is important to have realistic expectations, so that you don’t get angry or frustrated easily.
It is also important to note that sometimes desirable changes can come late, therefore focus on the journey of you and your partner over the destination.
5. Don’t fix the problem: A perspective that your partner’s struggling mental health is a problem or an obstacle that needs to be fixed, is incorrect. Not everything is that black and white regarding health, physical or mental.
Therefore, the focus should not be on “fixing” the behavior of your partner, so that they are not sad again or they stop completely acting a certain way. It requires consistent efforts of support and treatment that can help your partner navigate through their mental health concerns.
Few additional tips to keep in mind:
- Empathy and compassion is your Superpower, use it in abundance
- Don’t disregard or shame their conditions and struggles, most clients already suffer with shame and acceptance when its about mental health struggles.
- Don’t offer solutions or perspectives such as “People have it worst in the world”, “You’re lucky to have support” etc.
- Just because it’s on Google doesn’t mean you can use those tools or tips or your partner, always consult a psychologist or any mental health professional.
Mental health can be complicated and difficult to navigate not only for the person going through them but also for family and friends around. It’s healthy to acknowledge that difficulty and consult the experts while moving forward with the same. Research clearly indicates that professional interventions do lead to better life experiences and is beneficial for people involved.