Mothers are such beautiful beings, most of us believe that. They take care of us, provide us with comfort and believe in our capabilities more than ourselves.
But do you ever pause and reflect how much their life revolves around our existence than their own self? Psychotherapy puts high regard on developing individual boundaries as well as self-development, the importance of having positive mental health as a concept is also developing to a great extent and personal wellbeing is central to this concept.
Yet, our mothers sacrifice much, from their bodies to their individuality, from their preferences to their souls. Everything changes for a woman when she becomes a ‘mother’.
It is fascinating to observe the transformation from being an individual with their set of ambitions, needs and requirements to being selfless as well as sacrificing your individuality for someone else.
But as romantic as this might sound, the challenges that come with this transformation are barely discussed. Women all around the world are faced with the dilemma of losing the “self” and providing care for a new addition in their lives.
The modern world has been trying to compensate for these gaps by providing spaces that are fair regarding wages as well as positive working conditions. But the battle is still for very few and has restrictions of privilege.
However, the personal tussle of leaving your child behind or not being able to catch up with the “lost” months is barely discussed. Many studies have corroborated this account which mentions that ‘many women who return to work over-extend themselves to prove their relevance, are over-worked to maintain consistency w.r.t their careers and also put excess levels of pressure on themselves to maintain their worthiness’.
Even a child has more expectations from the mother, maybe due to the biological need or social norms (that might get engraved subconsciously) and yet, very few discussions are done around this ‘burden’ of expectations.
As women’s day approaches, let’s start addressing the lesser discussed issues of women in wake of awareness. And focus on ways that can be useful at a personal level:
– Talk to your female friends/colleagues and ask how they are coping
– Be empathetic, open, and compassionate when discussing it
– If you observe that they are struggling, encourage them to seek professional help
– Join support groups for mothers under professional supervision
– Recognising efficient work and completed tasks
Every organization needs to foster a healthy and conducive environment for its employees; for this, the approach needs to be culture and gender sensitive. There is a requirement for discussions to be held at a deeper level and beyond the traditional awareness topics as we move towards a ‘New India’.